Film & Screenwriting #7

In this weeks session we went over our script drafts. I managed to complete a first draft of my Black Cabbie, and even had time to finish the first act of my Western script, with the current working title The Black Passage. In the session we went around individually, reading over our script. We each read our own scene descriptions, and our characters were assigned to members of the class. This way the characters entered a dialogue, and the text on screen was brought to life. As people added their own interpretation to a character, I learned more about that character than what was on screen. I was able to see the strong points and the weak points of my scripts also. This was also effective in judging whether the timing of my scripts worked. It became apparent whether my scripts conformed or detracted from the paradigmatic structure. 

Black Cabbie currently stands as the script I am more likely to take forward and hopefully, get into production. I had invested a lot of time into the characters and their dialogue, so this session was very important. It allowed me to see what dialogue worked within the boundaries of a character. I was able to ask myself, would my character actually say that? Why? What would make him say that? Otherwise, it is just nonsense completely out of character. In the read through of Black Cabbie I learned that my main protagonist Abbel was a very strong character, and comes across as rather intense. This is intact the effect I aimed to achieve, so that came as positive feedback. One down point was the character of Ellie, Abbels love interest. Feedback suggested that Ellie was a bit of a two-dimensional character with no real backstory or depth. This was amazing for me to receive constructive criticism on a character, as it means I can go back to my script and add to them and fill the character with substance. Another positive element of the script was the banter between the characters, others said worked very well. This was a risk for me initially, as it is rather difficult to get right. I believe I pulled it off successfully within the boundaries. There were a few chuckles around the room, which was the most important feedback I could possibly ask for in a scene which is there to provoke laughs. Another key point I have taken on board is to cut down on scene descriptors. I have used over the 20 minute boundary mainly because of the lengthy descriptions. Although these are often relevant to setting the scene, they do not add to the character or fundamentally, the story. Therefore I will go back into my script and cut down on the scene descriptors. 

Fortunately I had time to have a read through of The Black Passage, the script of the period Western I have also been working on simultaneously. Again I received some very positive feedback on this script. The main praise coming from others saying the dialogue really worked. It really added to the characters, and at times the dialogue was powerful. Just like the Black Cabbie read through, the characters really come to life when they are read out loud. Some poor Western accents came about, but they really did add to the atmosphere I was aiming to create with this script. Despite only being read out in class casually, the characters entered some significant conflict, reeling off lines one after the other. The positive feedback has lead me to believe this script is worth continuing. The main criticism like Black Cabbie was to cut down on scene descriptors, which is understandable seeing how lost off I get just describing one insignificant aspect of the script.