FMP - Summary

Today, on deadline day, I stand at the end of my degree reflecting on all the things I have done. Despite being able to weigh up the good and the bad, and all the decisions I have made as an individual and as part of a collective, there isn't a single thing I'd say I'd like to change. And that to me is the perfect way to conclude an incredible experience. The mistakes I have made may have been costly, but I never like to see them as a mistake, only a lesson. Two days ago I was on an ITV set of Dickinson's Real Deal. I had landed myself some paid work as a runner. It is on that day that I realised how much my degree actually meant. Being able to see professional camera operators, sound mixers, producers and directors in one place working as a collective made total sense. It wasn't all that different from the structure we know within our crews, and despite the scale of it all the informality was still there. I was boom operator for the day, shadowing a camera operator and recording the sound in camera with a guy named JB. We got on really well on the day, and as I previously stated, I had always undervalued my degree in all honesty, seeing it as nothing like the actual industry. I had built up this romanticised idea of the 'industry' in my head where everything runs like clockwork and there are no mistakes to be made, with no spontaneity. I was very wrong. The spontaneity ran the show as we circled the venue shooting anything of interest. One of the most intriguing things for me to have seen on that day was a fully qualified camera operative with 30 years in the industry struggle with a tripod screw as we do on a daily basis. Even better, being able to help him pack up the equipment without struggle due to all the experience I have had doing just that. We also had a fantastic discussion over our dinner break about film stock - in which JB was extremely surprised and somewhat enthusiastic about the fact that CCAD offers us an opportunity to work on 16mm film. His own words were - "the fact that you've had experience on film leads me to believe you will have discipline within the field" meaning camerawork. He is right in that sense, and even though that was repeated over and over again during the 16mm film module, when it comes out of a professionals mouth it all makes sense to you. I thoroughly enjoyed the day and I had the chance to speak to some ITV producers, the only thing that could top that would be to eavesdrop on ITV producers. Which I did. All day. At the end of the day I shook hands with JB, and we both admitted it had been a pleasure. We got on really well and after a bad start with sound operating side of things, he taught me a hell of a lot. The guidance he gave me will stay with me for a long time. He told me to add him on Facebook, and as I had mentioned my interest in camerawork he said his best friend and business partner is looking for a camera assistant. I will undoubtedly follow up on that lead. Another crew member even had the chance to get a snap of me at work. 

In terms of my degree, this year has really ramped up the pace for me and that's the way I like it. I have that one of the most important elements for anyone involved in a production is momentum. Once you get into your research and the shooting of a project, the creativity flows naturally and takes on forms of its own. Its when you stop for a brief period - such as Easter, that the momentum breaks down and comes to a halt. At that point it becomes difficult to pick up the pace again, for everyone. As a director or as a producer thats where you have to step up and show people why the project is worth it, and lead by example. Even though admittedly it has been very hard to do that at times, you have to get your head down and get on with it, and without a doubt that momentum will pick up again. This is what has made FMP such an incredible experience. For 7 months of my life that momentum has been ongoing, and each day I have woken up with a vest and a new outlook that has enabled me to continue with my work. Although FMP officially began in January 2018, for me it began in November 2017 with the screenplay. The writing side of Echoes of Silence was quite a lonely thing. You have to sit on your own, creating a world of your accord. The exciting thing is the thought of then creating sets, gathering your crew, and going out to shoot that screenplay. For me thats where the fun begins, the sociable and tiresome side of filmmaking where everyone is walking through blistering rain with a heavy piece of equipment just for a shot or two. There's no reason to be doing it if you don't like it, and with my Final Major Project I have loved every minute. 

I have discussed many times in this blog my ideas about going forward. Despite my love of this degree and the people I have met, I somewhat feel that only half of my passion has been catered for. I equally enjoy the academic side of the process. Reading and writing on the subject of film studies, and contextual understanding. This is why I am going forward onto a MA degree in the field of film theory. Not only this but the degree caters for the side of me that loves practical filmmaking. Although I do feel that I am ready for the industry, I am holding off right now by going into my MA degree. I am confident in my abilities and although I feel like I can offer something to the film and television industry, I want to fully understand my craft before I can do that. I anticipate that my MA degree will allow me a greater understanding of both theoretical and practical filmmaking practices. In two years time when I am 23 years old, I will have had 6 years of theory and practice experience in my arsenal. Whilst I am always striving to be better, I understand and acknowledge that there is no limit to this profession. I will never be the best I can be, and I will never be content. I can fully accept this as part of my life and be happy with it. 

I would ordinarily be quite sad to be leaving CCAD behind, with all the great people I have met and all the great times I have had. But as I discussed in the beginning of this post, I would not change a thing for good or bad, and that is the perfect state of mind to be leaving behind something which has been part of my life for 3 years. It may be deadline day today but my degree is far from over. Over the next few weeks the time I have will play a crucial part in the success of Echoes of Silence. There are a lot of specific details which have to be acknowledged and altered in the edit in time for the VUE show, the deadline for that is June 1st. I hope by then that Echoes of Silence is as good as it can possibly be, as a testament of my time at CCAD and for the audience on the 11th of June.